Sometime I just feels a little lonely these day. whenever I want to let out my feelings, I just cant. To tell everyone what I feels is like ruin my own reputation or destroy my own relationship with people. Its soo not healthy when I try to hold back these feelings.
Sometime I want to say whatever I wants or write whatever crap that bothering me. But hahaha... Its always and alwaysss the consequences that I think about. I just feels like I'm getting old whereby I cant take any critics, swearing or any bad words from anyone anymore. Sick isn't it? I'm no more strong to fight back. No guts!
Sometime I want to scream and yell at people who make joke of me, always take advantage on me, or look down on whatever good thing I want to do orrr laugh at me when I try to do things that make me happy. Oh Goddd!!! Why cant they let me be happy?! (konon2 je menjerit.. tu pun dalam hati jugak)
Sometime I hope people can understand that loneliness is basically and foremost a feeling. We can be in a crowded room, full of people and still feel lonely. Yess, memang keliling saya banyak orang tapi.. people really need to understand that loneliness is does not necessarily describe being alone, but rather describes the pain that some experience while being alone. Do you think you understand what I'm trying to say? hahaha.. (saja tetiba gelak-gelak sikit untuk sedapkan hati sendiri) hahaha.
Sometime I wish I could say these out loud...
"I'm turning 28 years old this year. I have a reason why I still never be in any relationship or married. In another word, still single. I don't trust man. I don't think they can take care of my heart. I'm scared of being hurt. Its just a risk that I cant bear. business risk still boleh tahan babe! but really not this one.. I'm too weak inside. hahaha (gelak cover). I've got to admit, single hurts too. but I used to it and being experience of many years as a doctor of my own heart."
Sometime when I'm busy with my studies, assignments, club and society's meeting, projects and events. I do need a moment to express my self, yes! beside talk to my almighty Allah sampai tetidur bersama telekong atas sejadah, I do feel like I need someone to talk too. Mengeluh dan merapu tah hapa-hapa macam sekarang. Lucky me, lucky me.. I've this blog to do so and I have you who actually read this post until the end. Thank you soo much! :) *of course I don't know who actually read this, but just in case if there is.. I still want to Thank you* hehe
Here is song for you.. My Friend!
Stay strong! :)